Turkey Day

Thanksgiving has wound down and I'm again left wondering why its called Turkey Day. I know the answer is that turkey is the traditional centerpiece food for the day, but I find the name to be highly ironic and somewhat inappropriate. Turkey Day is the day when huge numbers of turkeys are massacred and eaten. Happy Turkey Day indeed. We don't massacre and eat untold numbers of childbearing females on Mothers Day, nor their male counterparts on Fathers Day. Christmas, for those who celebrate it, generally does not involve self-cannibalism.

Someone mentioned to me the other day that everyone celebrates Thanksgiving. I thought about it and it's true to some degree; Thanksgiving is the most widely celebrated American holiday among the event-based holidays (holidays based on events that happened or allegedly happened, as opposed to arbitrary holidays like New Year which was just kind of chosen as the date and nothing actually happened except the passing of a year). The only group that probably doesn't celebrate Thanksgiving? Native Americans, the ones who started it in the first place. More irony. Although I wonder if Thanksgiving is celebrated among Native Americans but as a dark remembrance day?

To make this sports related, here are some Bay Area Sports Turkey Awards with special guest presenter and BASTA Hall of Famer Mike Dunleavy Jr.

One leg goes to Mike Nolan, who appears to be on his last leg with the underachieving and unwatchable 49ers. Nolmoe's offense is more dodo than turkey, though the defense has performed admirably. It's a sad state of affairs when the pride of the team is the punter.

One wing goes to Alex Smith. Smithleavy has been a huge bust for the Niners and is threatening to take Nolmoe down with him. Much like a turkey wing, Smith's arm is just for show, has little function, and can never take flight.

One breast goes to the Cal cheerleaders (dance team, whatever), who could use some, umm, upgrading. I was at the basketball game a few days ago and one of the girls looked like she got pistol-whipped by a makeup gun.

One side salad goes to the Stanfurd cheerleaders. And please stop chugging the gravy.

One drumstick goes to the Sharks. Like most years, they can eat the tasty meat during the regular season and choke on the bone in the playoffs.

One serving of white meat goes to the Cal football team. The color matches the flag they've been waiving since mid October.

One pumpkin pie goes to the Golden State Warriors. Once in a while it tastes good, but in the end its just a dressed up pumpkin. 2012 playoffs here we come!

One dirty empty plate goes to the Raiders and A's. There used to be something there at some point but no one remembers and no one cares except that they want it out of sight.

The carving knife goes to Jim Harbaugh, who will carve the turkey with an enthusiasm unknown to mankind.

Cal ... WTF!?!?!?!?

Still can't beat OSU at home. Still can't win in LA. We were on the cusp of being #1 in the country and now we'll be #20 or so. Pathetic. We're going to be ranked behind Kansas. *sigh*

How does the kicker get hurt for the season 20 minutes before the 1st game? How come we don't have a decent backup?

Why can't Cal ever get over the damn hump? This Sisyphus crap kills me as a sports fan.

Hey Tedford, what's with the wussy playcalling again? Longshore goes 16/19 in the first half and the running game is non-existant and yet we go almost exclusively run in the second half? Huh? Playing not to lose tends to end up costing you wins. The defense isn't exactly the 2000 Ravens.

Hey Alex Mack, you're the leader of the oline and possibly the best player on the team. How about not killing drives with penalties? "Hidden play" of the day: Cal up 21-20 in the 4th quarter, 2nd and 8, Longshore to Hawkins for a 1st down around midfield nullified by a Mack hold. Cal runs on 2nd and 18 and 3rd and 18 (double huh?) and then punts.

Hey Jahvid Best, how about not losing a fumble next week? It'd be a nice change of pace.

That, btw, is the big difference between the 5-0 start and the 0-2 implosion. Cal was among the leaders nationally in turnover differential and then was -2 in each of the losses (and in each loss the game deciding points came off of Cal turnovers).

New article is up

The Cal football season is so depressing I actually got around to writing for the site again. www.osfan.com for a new article. Angry Cal post to follow here on the blog.

Warriors Waive Waste

The Golden State Warriors waived resident poet, democracy advocate, and general waste of roster space Adonal Foyle today. Foyle, who had two fully guaranteed years and $1 million guaranteed for a third remaining on his horrendously bloated contract, agreed to a buyout. Per NBA rules, whatever his buyout amount is will be spread over the remaining 3 years (this is for cap purposes; for real money payment purposes he can get the money in 1 lump sum if that is what was negotiated) in proportion to the amount of guaranteed money that was due to Foyle per his contract.

This ends a 10 year run with the Warriors for Foyle. Well, run may be a bad choice of words. Perhaps "waddle" or "bench warming" would be more appropriate. At the time of the waiving, only Duncan and Bryant had longer tenures with their teams. That's 7 rings and approximately 20 All NBA appearances against Foyle 7 dozen onion rings per week and 20 guest lectures. This was obviously a decade (and well over $50 million) well spent by the Warriors organization.

In more quirky news, 21 year old Andris Biedrins is now the longest tenured Warrior (pending Mickael Pietrus' potential return). Virtually all remnants of pre-Mullin regimes have been eliminated, and the quartet of atrocious contracts (Foyle, Fisher, Murphy, and Dunleavy - Richardson's contract was merely bad) Mullin personally handed out are now out of sight and out of mind.

Pittsburgh? Really?

When it looked like the Giants would be stuck with all their aging, rotting, decomposing trash, an unlikely savior emerged - the Pittsburgh Pirates. They not only took Matt Morris and the entire remainder of his contract, but sent the Giants an MLB ready prospect (not a great one at this point, but who knows) and a prospect to be named later. Pittsburgh is the rare team worse than the Giants, so who knows why they'd want Morris. I wonder if Sabean thought he was getting a prank call. If not, he probably couldn't say yes fast enough. Oh, and thanks for Schmidt 5 years ago.

Now the hope is that a few of the aging underachievers catch fire, clear wavers, and draw some trade offers before the waiver trade deadline.

New article is up

A new article regarding the Tim Donaghy situation and NBA refereeing as a whole has been posted. A link is below:

http://www.osfan.com/articles/personnel_foul.html

Matt Morris - bringing back the suck

A month ago Matt Morris' ERA was 2.56. He was looking like the odds on favorite for being the obligatory Giant in the All Star game and would be fantastic trade bait for a franchise that badly needs a successful fire sale to get some quality prospects into the system. Morris, a big money free agent signing a year ago who has mostly disappointed, naturally went into the tank as soon as being traded to a decent team was a possibility.

Since mid-June, Morris has given up fewer than 4 earned runs in one start, and even then he gave up 3 runs (1 earned) while "scattering" 10 hits and 2 walks over 7 innings. He's given up at 6 runs or more in 4 of his 6 starts in that span, including 8 runs at Wrigley today, wasting Barry Bonds' 2 HR 6RBI slump-buster performance. Morris' ERA is now at 4.08 and climbing, and his record has fallen from 7-3 to 7-6 (not that pitcher record means anything, but a gaudy record helps sell a trade to a fanbase which doesn't know any better). Had Morris continued to do well or only drop off to having an ERA of 3, he could've fetched the Giants a tidy ransom as a potential #2 starter for a contender. Now he's a #4 with a big contract past this season. You can't have a fire sale if there are no buyers. Sabean's task will be roughly equivalent to peddling used diapers to expectant parents in Beverly Hills.

Oh, and where was this 8 runs of support for Matt Cain yesterday? He got 1 run, well after he left the game. Sure he got lit up, but it must be hard pitching when you know that after giving up 1 run you have no chance at the win and 2 runs given up are a guaranteed loss. I've seen NBA teams freeze out a player before (and more often, one player freeze out another) but I don't recall ever seeing a baseball team's entire offense basically freeze out their own starter for an entire season. Actually, Roger Clemens had it happen in Houston a few years ago, but he deserves it. Maybe Cain slept with one of the position players' granddaughters?